It's strange to be homesick, quiet and still on this train moving across the wide country and still be thinking about comedy. How to be funny, where to be funny, why something is funny, how to manipulate the ways in which I'm naturally funny into a more thought-out, well-used way.
A thing I forget about is that everyone is allowed to be funny and in such different ways. I can name 50 people who are funnier than me but since I'm completely different than them, it isn't that important.
Had a really good pep talk from a wonderful comedian the other night and he was like, "be competitive, not necessarily with other comedians, but with yourself. Be the best at being you."
Comedy is hard intellectually in the way that acting for camera is hard on my appearance self esteem.
Like, if it doesn't go well then it's a direct reflection of how I'm failing as a person. Haaa, no but really.
I said to him the other night during this pep talk, "I don't want to try, what if I fail?" (which is my go-to attitude and reason for how successful I am now)
I've never seen him look less impressed with me. And I deserve it.
Food for thought, food for thought.
That was written yesterday. I didn't have cell reception for a full day. It was freeing and nice kind of but also I don't like not being able to use my phone.
I like my phone more than the average person, I think.
Today is bright and sunny out and we just had a 3.5 hour stop in Winnipeg and I had breakfast at the forks (gluten-free pancakes!!!) and then walked to a thrift store that wasn't too far. So obviously I'm in a great mood.
I wasn't in a bad mood yesterday, just quiet and maybe wistful.
I can't wait to get out on the prairies. I have big plans to take my novel to the dome car and drink tiny bottles of wine and tea and write and maaaybe do a crossword.